Moving On

It is getting close to to the holidays again. I was talking w/Chelsey about how sad it was when everyone grew up and one by one they stopped comming home for the holiday's. It made my heart hurt so bad I thought it was going to break. Now I feel the same kind of pain. It all started at Cathy's, my sister, wedding. It didn't really exploid until a couple months after that. Chelsey and I were commenting on how petty our family can be. We take things too seriously and it usually goes right to the heart. So, when someone isn't pulling there weight we tend to get angry, instead of expressing ourselves. So, "The Sister's" were working hard to pull together Cathy's reception. We sent signals to a brother's family that weren't of a happy nature. Needless to say with no communication feelings got hurt. I didn't realize how much until a few months later, thus, the explosion. We aired things out and now everything is back to normal.... but not really. This is one of those things that my heart hurts so bad. Nothing will ever be the same. You can't take anything back or change anything, you just move on. My heart doesn't work that way. I know that overtime it will finally accept the fact that nothing is ever the same. My old boss, Ron, told me that you can't look back and you can't look forward. You have to live for the here and now. So that is what I am trying to do. " Every day is fresh with no mistakes." (Anne Shirley)